Thursday, December 3, 2009

To: Whoever rules the world of "stuff"

Please come take some of my crap away. I don't have homes for anything and I'm becoming overwhelmed with the clutter. I've tried to be calm and collected about the whole thing, gradually getting rid of stuff, finding good homes for the sentimental things...

I know what the problem is: I get rid of some stuff and it replaces itself. I donate clothing, but the closet never empties. I give my shoes to a friend who sells them on Ebay and more shoes appear. I get rid of sewing stuff and the void made becomes filled with knitting stuff. Wherever there's a little bit of stuff, it just....procreates. MAKE IT STOP!!!*

Gradual isn't getting it done. I'm just not moving fast enough to combat the replication process. I'm this close to packing up the dogs and the spouse and running away from home, taking only the essentials, and paying someone to take care of the rest of it.

Also, if you could take care of the muddy dog tracks across the kitchen floor, I'd really appreciate it.

Kthnxbye.
Me.

* For the record: I know it's my fault. I know only I can actually make it stop. But sometimes it feels better to blame some nameless, faceless entity who brings the stuff into the house (or a magical stuff replication process) than to acknowledge that I have a shopping problem. Shuddup.

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