Wednesday, August 18, 2010

On Motherhood.

My stepmother asked me today how Motherhood was going. My answer to her, with some edits:

Amazing and hard and amazing and exhausting and amazing and frustrating and amazing. :-D It's a wonderful blessing and a tremendous burden. I've never doubted my every step and decision more while loving what I was doing. Bar none, this is the hardest and best thing I've ever done.

He's huge - 13lbs, 15oz at today's check up,  and 25 inches long. He's starting to look around and pay attention and smile at us. He likes it when I sing to him, and I can put him in the highchair and cook and he seems interested. He still sleeps a lot and he doesn't like being put down when he's drowsy, but we're working on it. I'm blessed to have GF as a partner in this whole thing. He wants to be involved as much as possible, and that makes me a very lucky woman.

I'm lovin' it.™ ::end of answer::

I will add to that the following: I feel buried under diapers, wipes, and dirty laundry some days. There are days when I forget to brush my teeth or hair. I've been wearing the same sweatpants for a few days now (not all the time - I change into jeans to go outside, and I have been showering). I am no longer (not that I ever believed I was) glamorous or even particularly cute most of the time. I don't care. Things that I care about: his smile; his laugh (or funny little change in breathing that seems as though it's a laughter precursor); his babbling at 2 am (he's his father's night-owl baby); his crying jags, which now feature tears (pathetic, really); his many facial expressions; his safety and sanity; his budding relationship with his father. It's not that I'm completely disinterested in taking care of myself - it's that my needs have taken a back seat to my fascination with him. He's every inch ours, and we're responsible for him. That's a huge thing.

Also? He's a great science experiment:

What happens when you bounce a full baby up and down really vigorously?  Those of you who are parents know the answer to that - we discovered it when GF was trying to burp the baby.

Why does he have that reflex, and how can we manipulate it for our own amusement? Babies are just chock-full of reflexes. Read up and find ways to amuse yourself.

How many different ways are there to make him stop crying? No, I don't mean rocking him or singing to him - it turns out that annoying a baby can be an effective stop-crying method as well. Next time your baby is screaming his lungs out, try wiggling your finger over his lips to make his cry vibrate. If it doesn't make him stop and look at you like "WTF?!", it will at least amuse the hell out of you and your friends.

When will he be useful? I mean, really - we don't have time to do chores anymore. When will this kid be able to mow the lawn and vacuum?!

In sum: I'm good. NA's good (or at least healthy). GF's good. Babies = huge responsibility and wonderful blessing. Bouncing the full baby = yick. Baby reflexes = fun for the whole family. Annoying the baby = quiet. Having a baby = overgrown lawn and furry floors.

So...knitting. I've got the ribbing on that Halcyon halfway done. I'll take a picture one day. :-)

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